How to be more likeable

Yes, you are honest, kind and polite (at least most of the time). But if you are still having trouble scaling the likeability ladder, here are 8 tips that will make you a real star amongst your people.

1 Smile warmly
Smirking with an air of superiority, grinning haughtily, or having a fake smile plastered on your face is not going to cut it. You might earn the label of being unapproachable (if that’s what gives you a buzz), even envied for that matter if you portray supremacy, but you won’t be liked enough for someone to want to have a conversation with you and get to know you better.

2 Stop complaining
Yes, your best friend might have the patience to listen to all the times you’ve been heartbroken, let down or disappointed, but people, in general, would rather not hear your rants. Being around people who tend to view the world as very flawed tend to come across as rather annoying and sometimes even depressive. Unless, of course, you have an exceptionally good sense of humour and can make your plight sound funny to the listener. But those people are extremely rare.

3 Don’t give too much personal information
Talking about yourself at length might seem entertaining to you, but maybe not so much for the listener. Telling people repeatedly how successful your business is (we get it, you put hours behind the desk), can be considered boasting and no one likes a bragger. On the other hand, letting acquaintances in on the misery of your private life can make you look like you are simply seeking attention. Honestly, the only time discussing family feuds is acceptable amongst people you just met is if you’re talking about the dynamics in Game of Thrones.

4 Laugh at jokes
Especially if they are on you! Bullies tend to move on when they don’t get a reaction they desire. Accepting and laughing when a joke is on you shows that not only are you secure, confident and unnerved in your place, but you can handle humour well too. When it comes to others attempting to be funny, show your support with a laugh rather than rolling your eyes. Yes, sometimes you don’t even know if the statement could qualify as a joke, but keeping it lighthearted and giving an encouraging laugh will put the person at ease (and they’ll be thanking you in their heart). Be remembered for your hearty laugh and make it contagious.

5 Deal with competition gracefully
Imagine this: You’ve worked really hard on an assignment and all eyes are on you, but when the results are declared, your biggest competitor walks away with the prize. It’s happened to the best of us. In situations like this, instead of making a long face, acknowledge the fact that your competition probably put in better efforts than you did. If you have a chance, congratulate the winner. Swallow the emotion of wanting to snatch the trophy and lash out at them with a string of meaningless accusations. You will earn the respect of your competitor and everyone who had their eyes on you will marvel at what a good sport you are. (You can cry, scream and punch a few bags once you’re alone, we’ll give you that!)

6 Don’t get distracted when in conversation
Conversations are vital to getting someone to like you. Start with putting your phone down when talking to someone. If the TV is distracting you, turn it off. When you are speaking to a person, try to focus on the person, especially if they are talking. Looking clueless when you are shot back a ‘What did I just say?’ can leave the speaker feeling quite bitter about you. (Oh, but if you do get stuck in that situation, just repeat the last three words of the conversation. It usually works.) Try to ask questions to show your enthusiasm for what the person is saying. It shows that you are involved in the conversation and care about what’s being discussed. And who doesn’t want to be heard!

7 Stop judging before knowing
We all want to put forward our opinion. But what we forget is that when we pass a judgmental line, especially something that’s not very polite, it gives others a cue on our perception. If you want to be more likeable, be more open-minded and reserve your comment to when it’s really needed; not because you have to say something to make your presence felt. People feel more comfortable and tend to like those who don’t jump to conclusions, is more receptive to other’s ideologies and respects the fact that everyone is entitled to their own perceptions.

8 Make a good first and last impression
You know that feeling when you just meet someone and you instantly know you like them? Well, that’s because they’ve made a good first impression. But what is equally important is to ensure you climax the same way. When seeing people off, show the same compassion you started out with. Let them know you had a good time with them. You’ll hear from them sooner than you expect.

Antara Bose is a model turned fashion and beauty consultant. A popular blogger, anchor, and voice over artist, she maintains a deep connection with the local fashion industry and is passionate about discovering and celebrating aspiring talent as well as promoting animal rights. For fashion updates with a side of humour and sarcasm follow Antara on instagram @antarabose and on Facebook: Antara Bose.